Men and Women: A Serious Study
Men and Women: A Serious Study
Despite all the pain and oppression women have undergone throughout history, no mentally sound woman feels sorry about her gender. Women have not begged nature to change their creation, no matter how painful their social pressures have been; there is greatness hidden in women that no man can ever par. Women devote their whole life and soul to men in order to obey the rules of creation and play their part in the rhythm of the universe.
Women should have faith in what they are; they ought to never ignore their distinctive aspects or waste time comparing themselves with men. Men and women should take into consideration the significance of the family, for that is what determines the fate of a society.
Men and women depend upon each other. Men rely on women, and vice versa. They do not differ in humanity. Men are as human as women are. If men do not recognize women, they do not deserve to be called humans; likewise, we cannot regard women human unless they recognize men.
Despite all that men and women have in common, they also differ in certain characteristics. This is when questions like these are posed:
●Can women bear dire straits as well as men can?
●Do women have genius, the power to discover or invent?
●Are women equal to men in pure intellect?
●Aren't men stronger than women when life comes to a dead-end?
●Don't men have more baseless pride than women?
Before we can respond to such questions – which are posed by those influenced by specific character and immature emotions and the answers too are affected by social factors – we must realize the fact that both sexes are subject to a great deal of diversity in mental activity. Not all men are equal. Can Imam Ali's humanitarian feelings and Hajaj ibn Yousef's hideous atrocities be compared? Are all men as intelligent as Avicenna was? Can we consider a woman who regards herself as part of her man's personality as equal to a woman who spends a life of hatred and disgust toward her husband? Therefore, we can point out two forms of differences between men and women.
1-Differences that are not related to men or women’s specific identity, but rather the differences existing among men as a whole, and among women as a whole. Such differences should not be regarded as differences between men and women.If nature granted some men and women's wish to be absolutely equal, or allowed women to drown in the games the purely theoretical intelligence plays, indulging in the momentary pleasures of life, like reproduction, or if nature granted men with the deep emotions women have, and a taste of real life and submitting one's body and soul to the highest call of nature instead of a real knowledge of the flow of life, would such equality not degrade man down to the level of extinct animals?
2-Differences due to the diversities of identities among men and women. As Islam asserts, these differences are doubtlessly not related to the human nature or disposition.
The Identity of Men and Women
Men and women are exactly alike in human identity and character. Their human identity can be discussed from two different points of view:
a)Independently and separately
b)In regard to each other
If men and women were to be separate, none of the hundreds of consequences they create in each other would be possible, and only their independent characteristics would flourish. Through physical and spiritual interaction, they create qualities in one another that is impossible to achieve individually.
Thus, a woman attracted by a man is different from the same woman living separately. Men also undergo change when they are attracted by a woman.
If we are to completely discover a married man's character, we should study his wife's character, too, for she affects her man's life, and vice versa for a married woman's case. If marriage occurs based upon the man and woman's natural, God-given identity and awareness of the human character on behalf of both the man and the woman, they can activate the highest of human virtues in themselves.
Some of the characteristics cited for men and women arise not from their character, but from secondary reasons. Some people believe, for instance, that women, unlike men, are incapable of changing their character. Men are believed to have the ability to gain the elements needed to change their character due to their frequent contact with various people and high awareness. However, there have been great women like Rabe'a Aduya Basri who had a clear picture of themselves, and reached the highest of mystical levels.
Some others believe that "women are not tolerant to loneliness. They cannot be alone or keep to themselves. A woman with no man feels more imperfect than a man with no woman." This also seems inaccurate, for we must first see what we mean by loneliness. If it means ignorance and isolation due to failure, that is neither imperfection nor an advantage for a man, and if one isolates oneself to study one's own character, that is true perfection – few men indeed have been able to do that.
Some people believe that women like their men to be muscular, and prefer men of physical strength to the average men.
That is not correct, for women actually prefer their men to be strong and firm in response to the problems and events of life. They like their husbands to be able to battle the ups and downs of life. It is also said that men pay more attention to women's beauty. Men do not have such an identity. men like their wives to be able to manage the family.